When I was growing up, we were afraid of Big Brother watching us. Now with Obama, we actually HAVE a brother watching us.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Thursday June 6, 2013
A new report shows that one in six Americans is now Hispanic. Well, the other five are also Hispanic. They are just not Americans.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Thursday March 21, 2013
A man in England has created a car that runs on coffee. Well, what a genius this guy is. Let’s pick a liquid that costs even more money than gasoline.
Hey, if you think it costs a lot to fill up your tank now, just wait until Starbucks is involved.
You know what that guy should invent? A Carnival cruise ship that runs on human waste. That thing could go forever.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Wednesday March 20, 2013
In England, gas is $10 a gallon. In fact, gas is so high in England that people have stopped eating horses and started riding them again.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Monday March 11, 2013
As you know, the Pope stepped down today. There’s a lot of cardinals running for this Pope position. Some of the slogans are pretty catchy. My favorite: “Yes, We Vati-can.”
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Thursday February 28, 2013
“Life of Pi” took home four Oscars. It’s about a young boy trapped at sea on a small boat with a man-eating tiger. Yet with all that, it’s still a better way to travel than a Carnival cruise.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Monday February 25, 2013
You knew this was going to happen. Dozens and dozens of lawsuits have already been filed against Carnival Cruise Lines. Well, if you thought the ship was filthy, slimy, and disgusting, wait until these lawyers get involved.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Tuesday February 19, 2013